Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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