This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
