ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize