Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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