There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
