i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
