I wish my penis had an off switch
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize