I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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