just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
