I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
