like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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