i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize