I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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