I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
