i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
