At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
