We won't sleep together?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
