I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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