Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
