soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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