White coat. Heels.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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