its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
