I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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