OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think my moral compass just broke
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