Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
