the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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