yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
