it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
