And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
