grandma shit on top of the toilet
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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