Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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