does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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