So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
