dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
