Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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