Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
