I heard we made out
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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