Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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