We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
