As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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