My boss' voice literally gives me gas
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
