would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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