if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have post one night stand depression
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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