what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So much Jack, so little girl.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
