How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
