Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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