...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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