there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize