I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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