just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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