I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
