you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
