the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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