Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
