brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
