Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
