you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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