I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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